So sad my Colts lost. We had great seats, right behind the goal post. Jevvaris James hooked us up! I didn't think either team played all that well, but it was fun. I would've had more fun is my hubby wasn't trashed before the game even started! I'm not a drinker & frankly don't understand the appeal. I hate the way he acts when he's that gone. Thankfully, it doesn't happen all that often.
Now we are left in limbo. No job yet, I didn't expect one this quickly, but it's so hard to wait. I am so tired of living this way. Does it make me a bad person that I'd like to go into Target & buy stuff without stressing out. Or to buy something, like a video game, just because I want it? I am trying so hard to not worry & believe that God will provide what we need, but I'm a natural born worrier. It's so hard to stop.
I woke up in such a bad mood this morning. I'm feeling angry, but not sure who or what I'm angry at. I'm so frustrated. It's been 9 months of this crap. I think I miss the feeling of security more than anything else. The knowing that the bills are paid & things won't be turned off. I think the things that bother me the most involve the kids. That I can't afford for Jax to go to pre-school when he so desperately needs it...or that both kids need eye exams and they both probably need new glasses & we can't afford it. I feel like such a failure when it comes to them.
On the upside, I've been doing well on WW & with my workouts. I got my 6 cardio workouts last week and 2 lifts. And I lost 1.6 lbs. It's a start. Need to get 3 lifts in this week...that's my goal for the week. Wish me luck!