Friday, December 31, 2010

I Think I'll Take A Moment

Reflection isn't all bad.  You can look back & learn from the mistakes you made & appreciate the good.  Living in the past is not good.  I think I've been doing way too much of that.  On this last day of the year, I'm going to take a moment to look back, mourn some things & celebrate others.

2010 didn't start out all that bad.  It just went to hell in a hand basket pretty darn quick.  I went from being able to afford a really good lifestyle to having to sell anything & everything just to survive.  But we did...survive that is.  I've hated it, but we did it.  I loved my house in NJ.  We built it & while it wasn't my dream home, I picked everything finish out, every paint was my house.  I hated having to sell it...even more so when the people buying kept asking for extra stuff, like TV's (greedy people!!)  but in my naivete I thought we would buy a home similar if not better than the one we had.  It's the only thing that got me through the move, really.  Boy was I wrong.  Yes, we made some money selling our house, but there was no way we could buy another one right away.  So we are renting.  A house that is half the size of my old one.  A house I don't particularly like all that much.  I really miss our old house!!  I miss our old lifestyle, our friends, my car, not worrying about money all the time.  I miss being a well taken care of wife!!  I miss some of our friends, others I wonder if they really were our friends at all. I will miss the fact that my kids had been friends with the same kids since kindergarten & I knew them all.  These are the things I mourn, I guess.  

Now, in the interest of fairness, there are things I will not miss.   I won't miss how stressed out my husband was all the time, the mancations, the constant drinking parties at my house, the feeling of being left out all the time, the gambling, the feeling of having to be the best or the most & I won't miss being gossiped about!

We've had some good things happen too.  We now live close to family so now at least one set of grandparents are around & involved in the kids lives.  The kids love their schools and are doing great.  Especially my oldest who is blossoming socially.  We have joined a church that we all really like (including the kids) that we are becoming active in.  And through the church, we have made some really good friends.  Our marriage has become stronger through our whole ordeal.

Now that we are here, the final day of 2010, I have to say I'm glad this year is over.  I'm happy to say goodbye to that year.  We aren't going to a big party tonight or hang around a ton of people.  We are going to celebrate quietly, just us...the 5 of us & ring in the New Year as a family. We are going to make 2011 a wonderful year for us.  We are going to put our trust & faith in God.  Good things will happen.  I'm done looking back and am only going to look forward.  

See you next year xoxox


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Can A Mom be Sick??

As a mom, I know that the majority of everything lands in my lap.  I'm ok with that, heck I embrace that!  There is only one time when I wish it to be different.  When I'm sick.  I don't get sick often, but when I do, I'm out of commision for a couple of days.  I resurfaced for a bit yesterday to find dirty dishes piled in the sink, spills on the floor that were never cleaned up & toys every where!  My hubby & son were busy playing Black Ops.  I went back to bed Disappointed 2

It makes me laugh that Dad is up & about the house but all 3 kids come to me & ask me random questions, or for food, or for help with something.  They will even wake me if I'm sleeping!!  Am I raising really obnoxious, unsympathetic kids?  Or do they depend on me too much?  Maybe both??  Even worse is when my husband comes to me & asks what's for dinner!!  

Now that I'm feeling better, I hope that I can do some fun stuff with the kids that doesn't involve video games or a whole lotta money!  I'm thinking maybe bowling or the Bounce U that is near here.

Need to get my fitness back on track too.  Haven't worked out in a month...Not Good.  I'm gonna get up & do some yoga followed by cardio in the morning.  I love working out first thing in the morning & getting it over with!

Saturday, December 25, 2010


I was so hoping that all our drama was over, but I was so wrong.  We are right back where we were & it sucks.  We thought we were out of the woods, but not yet.  After 3 days of worry & tears, I am attempting to think positively.  It really isn't in my nature to do so though.  I'm a worrier by nature.  I'm the one who stresses over everything, thinks the worst is going to happen & things will never get better.  Well, in the recent past, I've been proved wrong.  All my worry has gotten me is puffy eyes and an upset stomach.  And things turn around.  We make it through.  

We have many blessings in our lives, I really need to remember that.  We have an amazing family who love, support & help us when we need it.  We have a roof over our heads & food to eat.  We are loved and love in return.  We believe & trust in God.  All the rest will fall into place (I hope)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Busy, Busy, Busy

Whew!  I'm exhausted after my day today!  Not complaining, I had fun, but I'm ready to kick back & chill.  Could someone tell my kids, plus the extra one I have? 

Lots of cleaning today.  Then running around getting goodie bag stuff for the kids in our Life Group, then Livvi's holiday party at school. I somehow volunteered myself to make cinnamon applesauce ornaments for the Life Group kids.  I still need to do that!  It's a fun project, but I just don't want to do it tonight.  I'd love to curl up in bed & read a book!

Applesauce Cinnamon Ornaments

  • 1 cup cinnamon
  • 1 tbsp. ground cloves
  • 1 tbsp. nutmeg
  • 3/4 cup applesauce
  1. Preheat oven to 150°.
  2. In medium bowl, combine cinnamon, cloves & nutmeg.
  3. Add applesauce, stir to combine.
  4. Work the dough with your hands for 3 or 4 minutes until dough is smooth and ingredients are thoroughly mixed.
  5. If the dough is a little crumbly, add a tablespoon of applesause at a time to it until it is smooth and a bit sticky.
  6. Roll out dough to 1/3 inch thickness. It will be sticky, so be careful with it. You can use cinnamon like flour on your pin and rolling surface to stop it from sticking.
  7. Cut dough with cookie cutters. Simple shapes like hearts, bells, trees and gingermen are easier to work with than cutters with complicated shapes.
  8. Using straw make small hole in top of ornament.
  9. Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet at 150 degrees for 2 1/2 hours
  10. Remove from the cookie sheet and cool on a wire rack.
  11. Loop a ribbon through the top.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Almost Christmas & Really Not Ready!

9 more days until Christmas & I have ONE gift bought. Yikes!! This year I swear I'm not procrastinating! This year is solely a money issue or lack of money issue. It's been a rough year for us, but it's getting better. Just took us a lot longer than I thought. So, anyway here I am last minute shopping on a really tight budget hoping I can get what I need. Should be an adventure!! I will be armed with a very detailed list & hope I won't have to go to many stores.

Thankfully the house is as decorated as I can get it and the kids don't seem to notice a big difference. Jax, my 3 year old, is super excited and tells anyone who will listen that Santa is going to bring him choo choo trains & a tool box. I love it! He also is learning to sing jingle bells. How cute are little kids around the holidays? I think my 11 year old is getting suspicious about Santa. She keeps asking me if he is real. I'm at a loss. I really want her to keep that childhood belief for a while longer. Is it too much to ask for her to stay my little girl?? Some day I need to let her grow up a bit. Maybe this is the year?

Despite some of the obsticals we've had to overcome I'm excited about Christmas. I know that we will be able to pull it together. It may be last minute, but I will make sure it's as fun & magical & special as I always do!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Right now we have 1 car & my hubby needs that one car to go to & from work.  Guess where that leaves me?  At home....stuck.  Ok, so it's not too terrible.  It's not that bad staying home all day, reading & playing with Jax.  But not being able to go out when I need to is a major pain.

Today Ty, the oldest, forgot I don't have access to a car & stayed after school.  After a moment of "he got kidnapped" panic, I started to try to find a way to pick him up.  Called some friends, but they didn't answer their phones.  Called a bunch of cab companies, but they weren't local & couldn't get to me until 6pm!  Finally, in desperation, I called one of my friends back & he answered!!  He was able to pick Ty up.  Thank goodness because I don't know what else I would've done.  Ty had to sit outside in the cold & snow for over an our.  Apt punishment I think.  Maybe that will help him to remember to be more responsible!

We have got to solve our one car problem...and soon!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

And so it begins....

So, now I'm the big 4-0.  I've been thinking & thinking about how I would feel about it & I've come to the conclusion that I really don't mind.  In fact I'm excited about it!  My kids are 13, 11 & 3...old enough for me to spread my wings a bit & do some stuff for me.  That's something I really haven't done before.  My life has been centered around my kids since I was 26...when I had my first one.  Now, don't think that I'm running off or anything, I'm not!!  I'm just shifting a little focus over to me & it's high time I did!

I'm going to make a list of the things I want to accomplish this year.  My Bucket List, if you will, for my Fortieth Year.  And this blog will be all about how I go about accomplishing them, how I feel about them & a push/reminder to do them!!

1)   Lose these 18lbs & weigh 140 again!
2)   Go white water rafting
3)   Go to a spa with girlfriends only
4)   Go to school to study graphic design & photography
5)   Go on a zipline adventure with the family
6)   Get involved with volunteering in the community
7)   Really give Yoga a chance
8)   Learn how to plant & care for a veggie garden & do it! Composting too!
9)   Create an actual budget & stick to it!
10) Go on dates with my hubby at least twice a month
11) Spend time one on one with each of my kids once a week
12) Really work on my friendships & be a better friend
13) Learn to play golf
14) Inspire someone else
15) Let my hair grow cutting it short when I get sick of it!
16) Go away for the weekend, just me
17) Improve my credit score
18) Go roller skating with friends & family
19) Get over what the "Jones'" have & be happy with what I have
20) Laugh more...relax & stop taking everything so seriously

I may add to this as the year goes on & I think of new things, but for now, it's a start.  

Here I go!