I finally did it. I got a job. Not a job I like or truthfully one I really want, but we need the money so I'm happy about it. I start Monday.
Things have been declining rapidly. It's been almost a year & it's really getting to me. I took today to feel really, really sorry for myself. I'll pick myself up & dust myself off tomorrow. I think having this job and a purpose will really improve my mood. Break out of my rut, oh I mean routine! And I don't feel like I'm leaving Jax which is important to me, not that I feel like a great mum these days, but again, hoping to improve that. Hoping to improve on that with all 3 kids. I need to be a positive person around them. I need to make sure they don't know how really bad it is. Knowing a little is fine, but knowing we are struggling to buy food is another.
I pray every day, every night that we find a way out of this mess we are in. I feel like screaming...I GOT IT!!! I LEARNED MY LESSON!!!! GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE & I WILL DO BETTER!!! I don't think it works that way though